I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize