I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize