took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
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all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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