she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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