he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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