I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just tell him i said nine months
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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