Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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