wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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