Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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