A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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