what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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