my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize