Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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