Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize