No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are two peas in an std pod
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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