im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize