We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize