or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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