He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize