she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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