SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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