remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize