This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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