Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm always down for nudity.
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