Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize