apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize