I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize