You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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