i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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