the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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