Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
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