Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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