I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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