I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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