Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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