Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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