you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize