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So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
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