She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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