your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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