My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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