I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize