you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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