it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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