my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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