plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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