I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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