Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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