It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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