One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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